What is grief? How do you work through grief? According to the American Psychological Association “grief is the anguish experienced after significant loss, usually the death of a beloved person. Grief often includes physiological distress, separation anxiety, confusion, yearning, obsessive dwelling on the past, and apprehension about the future.” So, let’s look at grief from a non-APA perspective. Take the first part of this definition, grief is the anguish experienced after significant loss. So much of our difficulties in life come from the grief of loss.
You might have just taken another job in a new city where you know no one. You’ve left the familiarity of your old job and are experiencing apprehension, anxiety, or even sadness when you think about the camaraderie you miss.
Your dog that is 14 years old finally succumbs to illness and you have to make a horrible decision to let go and ease their suffering. You not only feel anguish at this decision, but you also experience constant reminders of your dog in everyday life, and you can’t shake the sadness.
Finally, you may have lost a loved one, someone close to you that made a real difference in your life. It might be a sibling, a parent, a spouse, or even a child. The sadness is debilitating at times, and you can’t focus. It’s like you’re walking through a dream that can’t be real and you don’t want to accept it.
These are all examples of someone experiencing grief, it doesn’t look the same for everyone and can come from numerous different sources. The fast-paced way we live today leaves little time to truly reflect on the things we lose every day. We judge each other’s grief as if to say, “Your loss is not really worth of grief, you should just move on”, or “you should be over this by now, get it together”. My personal favorite is “I know exactly how you feel because I had something similar happen”. Understand that your grief is just that, YOUR GRIEF, and no one can tell you how to feel it, or when you should be done. How do you work through grief? Whether you are grieving the loss of a pet, loss of a friend group, end of a relationship or even the death of someone you hold dear, there are things that can help ease the pain. Sometimes we may not do the healthy thing for us, we try to ignore it, we push it down, or we mask it with alcohol or drugs. Whatever you do, don’t discount your grief and the feelings you are having. Try to find a way to get back in touch with the friend group, or a way to connect with the person or pet that you lost. Something that was special and meant something to you because it’s about you, no one else. These are just a few examples, so If you think you need some help, reach out, I’ll work to help you find some skills to ease the pain and move forward. Call me at (469) 315-6314, or email bill@milestonefamilycounseling.com. We will work on it together.